Buyer Beware

I had not planned on authoring a blog entry this evening until I strolled past the living room and overheard a Tires Plus commercial in the background. Without further ado, I present you with five reasons to avoid setting foot in Tires Plus at all costs.

1) I decided to bring my beloved ‘88 Acura Legend to the nearby Tires Plus after discovering a coupon for a $13.99 oil change and tire rotation in the Sunday Star Tribune one afternoon as I waited to have my hair cut at the Highland Park Great Clips. When I arrived and stated my intentions, the employee behind the counter entered the year, make, and model of my ride into the store computer. He then informed me that because ’88 Legends do not use one of the fifteen most common oil filters there would be ten dollar fee to have my filter delivered from a nearby location. Disappointed with this development, I naively inquired whether I would likely face a similar predicament at most shops. The employee offered that aside from Valvoline who specializes in oil changes, very few establishments should be expected to carry the filter. Having driven close to four thousand miles without an oil change and conscious of the fact I drive a foreign car older than my college-bound younger brother, I relented. I have since learned that at least one major service chain performs oil changes on my vehicle at no additional charge (more on this in reason #5 below).

2) Before paying, I asked the aforementioned employee whether I would be subjected to a lengthy wait since my oil filter was being delivered from another location. He casually warned me that while the delivery of the filter would not cause a delay, the current wait for an oil change stood at two hours and advised against agreeing to the procedure if I could not drop off my vehicle and retrieve it later. This struck me as an exceedingly long amount of time to perform a simple oil change and tire rotation. As a proud car owner for only the last five months, I had never gone in for an oil change before. However, based on all the advertisements I had witnessed for early bird specials, I assumed working folk stop in for an oil change on the way to the job in the morning and are on their way in twenty to thirty minutes time. Because it was a sunny Saturday afternoon and I had little to do, I gladly walked back to the apartment after agreeing to anticipate a phone call announcing the completion of the oil change in a couple hours. I have since discovered that at least one major service chain performs oil changes in fifteen minutes as the customer waits (again, there will be more on this below).

3) About two hours after I dropped off my ride and forty five minutes after Michael Barrett sucker punched A.J. Pierzynski in the face, the sweet sounds of Sabotage emanted from my phone and an unknown number with a (local) 651 area code appeared on the screen. With the White Sox absolutely drubbing the Cubs at this point, I had grown somewhat bored sitting around the apartment waiting for the phone to ring and was excited to go pick up my baby. However, instead of urging me to head back to the store, the Tires Plus technician told me that my front and rear break pads were badly worn and asked if I would like them replaced. I responded with a horrified “Uh, no…I don’t think so,” and then asked what the damage would be if I authorized the repairs. While nowhere near a mirror at the time, I assume my face became quite pale when he indicated it would be over seven hundred dollars to replace all four sets of pads. After the technician stated I would receive another call once the oil change and tire rotation was completed, I hung up and immediately dialed my father. My old man is not an expert when it comes to cars, but he expressed shock that break work would cost more than a couple hundred dollars each for the front and back unless Tires Plus was proposing major cylinder work. I later found out that at least one major service chain performs premium break pad replacement service for a hundred dollars per axel, or four hundred dollars for an entire vehicle (once again, see #5 below).

4) The phone call I received from the Tires Plus technician occurred at around 2:30. Naturally I expected the second call stating I could pick up my car about ten minutes afterwards. By the time four o’clock rolled around, my last ounce of patience had faded. I marched out of the apartment towards Tires Plus. From a block away I could clearly see my beautiful red Legend parked out front. I immediately stopped in my tracks and dialed the store. The employee who answered told me the car was ready to go. His tone of voice conveyed that the car had been ready for some time. I replied that I would be there right away with what was probably more than a slight trace of irony and resentment in my voice.

5) Sunday evening, roughly a month after my experience with Tires Plus, I noticed smoke escaping from the hood of my car while stopped at a stoplight on Hennepin Avenue. After I arrived at my grandparent’s apartment at the Calhoun Beach Club, my cousin Alex took a peak under the hood. While he could not pinpoint the source of the problem, he discovered oil leaking from the car and theorized that this might be a contributing factor. Needless to say, after putting $1900 into a rebuilt transmission in January, I was a nervous wreck from the time I arrived at my grandparent’s Sunday night until I had the opportunity to take my vehicle into the local Car-X after work on Monday. The good folks at Car-X determined the smoke (toxic coolant which I inhaled deeply while attempting to determine the source of the “smoke”?) had emanated from a blown A/C compressor. Completely unrelated was the steady stream of oil dripping from the vehicle which the technicians pointed out to me. The diagnosis? A faulty oil filter. I nearly broke into an uncontrollable, delirious fit of laughter when one of the technicians suggested returning to whoever had performed the previous oil change and asking to have the filter replaced. I instead opted to have the skilled professionals at Car-X perform a new oil change for a flat fee of $19.99 while I waited and be on my way with the comfort of knowing no person employed by Tires Plus would ever lay another hand on my dearest car.

Epilogue: Because Tires Plus also rotated the tires on my car I now drive in constant fear that one of them will fall off at any given moment. For the love of God, please do not allow anyone you know to patronize Tires Plus. Society will be far better off. I intend to bring this entry to the attention of the company and will post an update detailing any response I receive.